| i was thinking about it..
maybe i'm depressed today because it was mine and jordan's anniversary.
i don't know though.
maybe it's just one of those days..
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| i wanted to share my free write from english class. i don't know why, but it seems right. we were given the prompt and had to complete it with a couple of sentences.
i'm ashamed to admit... that i don't think very highly of my body. i know it sounds so ridiculous to everyone else, and even to me sometimes, but i still can't be happy with my physical appearance knowing that i gained 20 lbs. in what seems to me like such a short time.. even if it was a couple of years ago.
i will never... shut up about something i believe in. i'm aware my friends mean well when they tell me i shouldn't cause a scene, but i wish they'd all leave me alone. the truth is, i don't care about causing a scene if it means something will be changed for the better. everyone seems to be satisfied with whatever gets them by, but i'm not. i'll do whatever it takes to make the world a better place.
my dream date would be... learning how to do something outdoors-y. if a guy can be patient with me and teach me something seriously, i'd love it. surfing would be great just because i've wanted to learn for so long, but considering where we live, kayaking or something like that would be nice.
On 9/11, I was... passing notes to my friend renee in science class. mrs. grattan turned on the tv and everything changed. i almost feel like that day made our entire generation grow up a little bit all at once. i was so scared.
The weirdest thing about me is... everything, and nothing. it's complicated, but i think everyone has a quirk or two, so by being strange, we're actually all normal.
I believe in... listening to a song or watching a movie just to cry. sometimes you have to have those things in life to get you through everything. even if your life is good, sometimes you have to cry about it. emotions are a funny thing that way.
so that was it. i'm weird.
i feel very strangely about things today. yesterday, everything was great and i loved college, but it's different now. nothing really happened to change it. it's just different. and i'm not happy. and they say it doesn't get any easier..
amber
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| i think i'm the epitome of the idea that good is never enough. despite the fact that everything is right in my life, it all feels so hopelessly wrong. what the hell is wrong with me?
and i just can't seem to get over this aching need to be home again. being there a few weeks just wasn't enough. i fear that i'll never get to go back, even though i'm 93.9% sure that fear is irrational. i'll probably be back for christmas. and probably not too long after that..
amber
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| mindee and i rocked out in the parking lot after follies.. maybe we'll do it again tomorrow.
rhcp is the best!
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| why am i so pissed off lately?
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